Beverly Gooden didn’t know that a tweet could change her life.
In 2014, then Baltimore Raven Ray Rice was charged with the assault of his fiancé in an elevator. After the video was released, everyone had an opinion on the incident with the most popular being – how could she stay with him?
Gooden had been in an abusive relationship for two years before finding a way out. She knew the complexities of such a relationship and how it’s not as simple as many people believe.
“Even though the comments weren’t directed at me, I felt guilt and shame,” she said. “I was angry that the question everyone was asking was ‘Why did she stay?’ instead of ‘Why did he hit her?’”
Gooden felt compelled to share her experience with the hashtag #WhyIStayed.
150,00 people used the hashtag within 48 hours. Her life changed forever.
Since then, Gooden has appeared on Good Morning America, the Dr. Phil show, Inside Edition, CNN, NPR, and NBC Nightly News. Her story has been featured in the Washington Post, Marie Claire, USA Today, CNN Money, Bloomberg, and BBC News. She’s now a social activist and speaker and helped produce videos focusing on the topic of domestic abuse.
For her HYPE presentation, Gooden talked to the Heidelberg community about her abusive relationship where she was beat and choked.
“I thought love could conquer all,” she said. “I believed I was a part of the problem.”
There are many reasons victims stay in abusive relationships – financial limitations, shame, dependence, threats, and love.
“57% of college students who experienced domestic violence say it started in college,” she said.
She encouraged the Heidelberg community to be aware of the signs of abuse including isolation, manipulation, jealousy, and gaslighting. Gooden outline several ways students could help change the social atmosphere:
- Observe what is going on around you, ask questions.
- Challenge the norm. Don’t let assumptions stop you from helping.
- Speak up. Share statistics, open the conversation, and help those around you understand this issue.
One in three females and one in seven males experience domestic violence. Gooden encouraged the Heidelberg community to help change those numbers and help victims in their own lives.
“Have patience and give them power. They need to be the one to make the decision to leave,” she said. “We need to work together to end domestic violence.”
Learn more about the HYPE Career Ready program.